Obama Criticism Bingo

Generate your own card. (link)

-J

Business Management capstone

For my Bachelor's degree in Business Management I need to create a business plan for a venture of my own invention.  The whole project is something between 40 and 50 pages, and they recommend - prudently - that each student pick something that they are passionate about to build a hypothetical business around.  I am passionate about 1) sandwiches and 2) not leaving my house.

The idea might reasonably be compared to the Dollar Shave Club or the rideshare company Uber.  My company will deliver a sandwich to your door on the day of your choosing each week.  You pick the sandwich, the 15-minute time window, whether you want it heated or heatable (with simple instructions), and whether you want the delivery sandwichman to knock/ring or just leave it there.  The entire process is signed up for monthly, and billed online so there is never anything to sign or pay at delivery time.  I am personally ridiculously frugal, but I would be tempted by a service like this.  Between 9 and 9:15 every Saturday morning there would be a piping hot bacon and egg sandwich on toasted sourdough waiting for me at my front door.  That feels like an easy sell.  I'm in love with this logo too.  I want it on a ringer tee.  I made it chiefly with a program called "hipster logo generator" and I don't even care how played out it is.

-J

Watching the 2013 Seahawks on DVD: Game 3: Jacksonville @ Seattle

I didn't watch the Seahawks this year because I care too much.  Now that I know how the season ends, I bought the games on DVD and I'm enjoying all the wins without the stress (and commercials).

---

Man, I'm bummed we've lost Golden Tate in this offseason. I'm happy for him that he's gonna get paid cuz the dude can play, but he was such an amazing secret weapon for us because no one knew the dude can play.  RW is at 9 home wins in a row going into this one, he'll rack u a few more before the season's done.  Marshawn makin' em look foolish.  27 yards... season high?  I wouldn't have guessed.  Ridiculous fake by RW.  Now Lynch again, down to the 5.  And again, down to the 1 inch line.  Pete challenges.  I LOVE HAVING NO COMMERCIALS.

Man, this game looks moist.  We lose the challenge.  No worries, though, right?  3rd down and nothing, right?  HAAAAAA.  SAME FAKE.  Zach Miller getting POINTS.  Hands the ball to the fans, I love this team.  

Hauschka runs right by the ball without kicking it.  Haven't seen that before... I guess he wanted another run at it.  Ugh, Chad Henne looks terrible in this game.  I kind of feel bad for the Jags since they have 1) a terrible team name and 2) ugly uniforms and 3) one of the worst cumulative records in football, but I also kind of don't feel bad for them because I don't like states that have three football teams.  Florida has Jacksonville, Tampa Bay, and Miami.  That's too much for such a small state.  Give a team to someone else.  New York has the Jets, the Giants, and the Yankees.  No wait, the Bills.  But who cares about the Bills.  California is the most populous state so you can kind of make an argument there.  I like the Chargers since they're sort of a hard luck team like us.  My friend Dustin described them as a team whose steadfast refusal to be bad is only matched by their steadfast refusal to be good.  Henne gets thwomped again.

look at that tiny slice of Florida that cares about the Jaguars.  The Jags have actually made a deal to play one game per season in London to try to increase their fanbase.

2nd quarter, Tate again.  Guy is a monster.  Miller again!  Do work, son!  14 unanswered now.  Hawks haven't started a season with three straight wins since 2006.  That's ridiculous.  Seven rough years, mang.  False start on a punt attempt by Jacksonville kind of sums up this game for them.  Hawks take over on the Jags' 46. They aren't even a real NFL team - just some unfortunate guys who happen to be standing inbetween us and a win.  Kearse, now Williams gets a million yard PI call.  Jax holds us to 3, so I guess they can sorta celebrate something.  Wagner with the pick at the end of the 1st half.  Rice, Rice, baby.  79 yards in 5 plays covering 34 seconds.  24-0.

Even without commercials this game isn't going as fast as I need it to.  Time for bed, we'll pick up the rest later.

- Jeremy

Watching the 2013 Seahawks on DVD: Game 2: San Francisco @ Seattle

I didn't watch the Seahawks this year because I care too much.  Now that I know how the season ends, I bought the games on DVD and I'm enjoying all the wins without the stress (and commercials).

---

Man, this crowd is HYPE.  Frank Gore went to "The U", apparently.  I could see that causing confusion if there was more than one possible thing that could be called that, but fortunately for him there isn't so it's perfectly clear what he's referring to.  We open by trading 3&outs.  Someone blows a whistle and Seattle's line stands up like meerkats; SF blows by them and blocks the punt.  Oy... SF marches down to our 9... 2nd & goal... 3rd & goal... deflected by Thurmond!   Caught by Thomas!  That's one way to end a drive.  Pete Carroll is 62 today.  Lynch says "I'll take 20 yards, thanks."  Then nothing happens until 3 minutes left in the 1st quarter when the refs halt the game due to dangerous weather.  Yeesh, lightning.  I did not remember this happening.

2nd quarter, and the Hawks are methodically alternating between amazing amazingness and brow-furrowing bunglation.  Kaep has gone to 100% hand signals.  Doesn't work out for him, safety.  Woo, two-nothing lead!  Then a lot more nothing.

Cliff Avril forces a fumble, Wright recovers; 3rd turnover if you count the safety.  Field goal makes it 5-0.  Lots more nothing.  Taunting penalty on Seattle, 15 yards.

Nothing happens until 11:something in the 3rd quarter when RW throws a 50-yarder to Baldwin.  That guy is a beeftank.  S l o w  a c t i o n  a n d  t h e n  Lynch!  Touchdown!  5 more minutes and SF gets 3 on the board.  DOPE shovel pass to Tate for 20 yards... erased by a holding call.  By a receiver.  Oy.  Then a 40 yard pass int penalty on the 49ers, so I guess that works out.  Another 15 for crown of the helmet and we're in good position.  Ha ha; I laugh every time they show Harbaugh getting mad.  4th quarter.  Lynch again!  Catches the ball one inch from the endzone then waits for a full second before taking a tiny step in.

Sherman with a huge interception!  I wondered where he was this game.  Aaaaand dancing with the SeaGals.  Delicious.  According to the announcers Sherman blames Harbaugh's badmouthing for Sherman being taken later in the draft.  I guess that would explain the animosity.  Field goal makes it 22-3.  11:30 to go.  Biggest crowd ever at the CLink, they're saying.  Thurmond with a big deflection, he's goin' crazy tonight.  Ridiculous tackle by Sherman.  Boldin makes his first catch 50 minutes into the game.  Then we pull a keystone cops trying to tackle Kaepernick.  Ugh, c'mon guys.  

Kam Chancellor with a pick returned to the 2.  Man, he didn't even have to move.  Announcer says Kam bought his mom a car.  And a house to park it in.  Cool.  Lynch!  Again!  Extra point makes it 29-3.  Special teams force a fumble on the kickoff and this game is rad.  Should have been another 7 on the board for us, but the refs called it dead incorrectly.  We run out the clock on the SF 10 and there's your ballgame.  I woulda liked to hang another 7 on them because 49ers, but I really respect that Pete isn't me, and he makes the right choice there.

The first half was pretty dorfy, but we came out like a murderer's row in the second thirty.  Enjoy your flight home, San Fran.

-J

Drawing a blank

I love a blank piece of paper.  It's so clean and white.  Nothing is wrong with it.  If I start to draw, there will be lines and shading and angles that I don't like, that make it wrong, but a blank page is so peaceful.  There's nothing to criticize.  A blank "new post" page feels the same.  I'm going to slop a lot of words on there and hope for the best, but it was ultimately fine before I messed it up.

I know that not everyone feels this way.  To many a blank page represents possibility.  And to me it does too.  But just because it's quiet doesn't mean that someone has to make noise.  Sometimes the blank is nice.  A lot of times, to me.


... you've got to start with something.  Nothing can't really be improved upon, but something can.  Do something, then come back and fix it up better than it was.  You may never get back to the peace of a blank page, but maybe the trade-off will be worth it with the new fixed-up thing you've chaperoned into the world.

-J

Watching the 2013 Seahawks on DVD: Game 1: Seattle @ Carolina

I didn't watch the Seahawks this year because I care too much.  Now that I know how the season ends, I bought the games on DVD and I'm enjoying all the wins without the stress (and commercials).

---

Man, we look pretty sketchy in this game.  Doug Baldwin caught an impossible throw, and Sidney Rice had a nice reception, but a Carolina punt reception turnover and a Carolina Unsportsmanlike penalty are the only reason we're in this one at all.  Trailing 6-7 after 45 minutes and the Panthers look like they're just mowing us down.  Cam has thrown some bad ones, but is always a running threat.  Russell has coughed up a fumble in the red zone and killed another red zone possession with an Intentional Grounding.  Wow, another Unsportsmanlike on Carolina; both of them were out-of-bounds players not immediately returning inbounds on the kickoff.
"There is a correction on the previous penalty enforcement."  Whaaat.  Ref awkwardly tries to explain the rules.  Never seen that before.  OK, re-kickoff, slightly better field position.  Lynch is getting swallowed this game.  Our whole team looks smaller than theirs.  Nice catch by Tate.  Woo, big run by Turbin!  15 yards, feels like a mile compared to what we've been doing.  Wilson goes looooooonnnng.... Steven Williams gets two hands on it but can't complete.  Doggone it man... How many chances like that are you gonna have?  Oh, nevermind.  Next down, Kearse - touchdown!  Kearse's first NFL touchdown, says the announcers.  Hawks go for two?  Against this Carolina defense?  I don't see this happening... throw is high, no good.  Great touchdown throw, though.  What was that, 40 yards of air?  43 say the announcers.  Awesome.
Ted Ginn Jr. watches another kickoff bounce through the endzone.  That would make... all of them so far.  Maybe he's tired.  Also I hear they sometimes hit you in football so I can see why he wouldn't like that.  Ten minutes to go.
Facemask against Seattle.   Yards yards yards.  Sherman & Thomas knock it out!  Seattle almost gets stood up behind their own 10 but Baldwin saves the day again.  This Carolina audience keeps hooting.  It's very odd.  Not cheers or boos... just... hoots.  Tate showing off.  Wilson's first 300+ yard game ever?  Really?  He's been getting roughed up, too.  Nice pass to Coleman for a first down.  Lynch with a very pro run.  Scrambling around, getting a few, running down time and getting tackled inbounds.  Supastaah.  A buck thirty left.
Now under a minute. Russ takes a knee and there's your ballgame.  
Hawks win 12-7.  Yay. =)

-J

Blurred minds

Robin Thicke did an interview with GQ last May re: his video for "Blurred Lines".

"A lot of my videos and songs have been so serious—about love and pride and relationships and hope and getting over insecurities and vulnerabilities. But lately, I've just wanted to have fun and enjoy my life, really appreciate all the great things that I have, like a great wife, a great child, and a great career. That shows up in the music with more humor and light-heartedness.
...
We tried to do everything that was taboo. Bestiality, drug injections, and everything that is completely derogatory towards women. Because all three of us are happily married with children, we were like, "We're the perfect guys to make fun of this." People say, "Hey, do you think this is degrading to women?" I'm like, "Of course it is. What a pleasure it is to degrade a woman. I've never gotten to do that before. I've always respected women." So we just wanted to turn it over on its head and make people go, "Women and their bodies are beautiful. Men are always gonna want to follow them around." After the video got banned on YouTube, my wife tweeted, "Violence is ugly. Nudity is beautiful. And the 'Blurred Lines' video makes me wanna..." You know." 

Makes her want to get a divorce, apparently.

Robin Thicke and Paula Patton Separate

Back in September I speculated that If I made a video in which naked women dance for me while I sing "I know you want it" "You the hottest bitch in this place", I'm not convinced that would be the most effective way to show my wife that I love her.  After some time reflecting, I still stand by that position.

After a photo hit the web last fall showing a reflection of Thicke's hand grabbing a helping of another woman's bum (at a party his wife was at), he told Star Magazine, "“My only comment about the so-called scandalous photo would be that my wife are I are perfectly in love and very happily married. So, no complaints there.”  Right.  No complaints.  Or apologies.  Or contrition.  Or self-awareness.

I try hard not to engage in Schadenfreude, and I can honestly say that I don't extract any pleasure the from this iceberg/Titanic interaction, but I can't help but feel that a lot of people are going to be startled out of bed tomorrow when the sun once again rises in the East.  As it turns out, disrespecting your wife in public - as humorous and light-hearted as you feel it may be - is a very effective way to lose your wife.  We anoint ourselves invincible and beyond statistics.  We are unique snowflakes.  Haters gonna hate.  The tragedy to me is to watch it slowly, repeatedly unfold.  Cognitive dissonance sets in so firmly.  

“It’s the greatest love of the century... ...As a relationship progresses, you fall in love again in so many deeper ways. You realize that you need each other and you can’t live without each other.”

That was the rest of Thicke's statement to Star.  That was post-butt-grab-photograph.  Post-Miley-Cy-rub.  There's really no difference between me and this guy; I love my wife with all of my heart.  But if I ever start believing that I am above... I don't know.  Above my capacity to make bad decisions, humanity...  This guy had things that he wanted to do, and he crafted an internal narrative to justify those things.  That's what we usually do, as humans: we decide what we are going to do, and then we come up with the reasons.  And I'm sure he had a lot of people around him encouraging him to do those things.  I believe he really did feel totally "in love" (whatever his working definition was) with his wife, and I believe he felt totally okay with doing all the other nonsense he was getting up to.  But your wife doesn't live in the world you create.  That's where it all falls down... when it intersects with another human being who has the power to tell you "no".  No amount of cognitive dissonance can bridge the gap to another person's heart.

My old pastor used to say "sin will always take you further than you expected to stray, and keep you longer than you wanted to stay, and cost you more than you ever meant to pay."  I always thought it was kind of rhymey-trite, but I still remember it six years later so I guess he wins that one.  Anyway, Robin Thicke had an idol, and now one more thing has been sacrificed to it.  Sin kills.  One thing it kills is relationships.  Also, watch for the sunrise tomorrow.

-J

Jesus Christ, super-white

"Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him" 
- 1 Corinthians, 11:14


"Son of God" is coming out this Friday, and my church is encouraging us to go see it and bring a friend.  European Jesus is kind of a sore spot for me, though.  I'm not saying everyone else should be up in arms, I hope the movie is good and I hope people see it and think about it.  To me it is a reflection of culture, and that movie producers know what audiences will tolerate. 





















Jesus Christ Superstar

The Greatest Story Ever Told

Jesus of Nazareth

The Passion of the Christ

Son of God

The Bible (tv miniseries)

King of Kings

The Last Temptation of Christ

...

Forensic reconstruction of an adult Semite male living in the same place and at the same time as Jesus.
"From an analysis of skeletal remains, archeologists had firmly established that the average build of a Semite male at the time of Jesus was 5 ft. 1 in., with an average weight of about 110 pounds."
-Popular Mechanics

-J

Happily Ever After

And now, a list of movies which romanticize infidelity.

1) Camelot.

A delightful and classic musical. Guinevere gets bored with King Arthur and has an affair with Lancelot. 

Awards: 3 Oscars, 3 Golden Globes

Highlight: "If Ever I Would Leave You", Lancelot's doe-eyed musical number about how he's so in love that he won't stop seeing his best friend's wife behind his back. Aww, you charmer.

2) Shakespeare In Love.

Young Shakespeare finds his inspiration in young Viola, in a celebration of love shared by all except probably Mrs. Shakespeare who I guess is home raising their kids while all this is going on, and also probably the guy Viola is engaged to.

Awards: 7 Oscars (including Best Picture), 3 Golden Globes

Highlight: One of the bar patrons mentions Shakespeare's wife to Viola and after a brief moment of obligatory awkwardness (presumably to satisfy cultural expectations of at least token guilt) it is never mentioned again.  However Viola and Shakespeare's affair happens basically right in the face of her fiance and the movie goes out of its way to make fun of him for being cuckolded.

3) The Bridges of Madison County

Meryl Streep has an affair with Brad Pitt while her husband and children are away at the county fair. She is torn between passion and duty.  Eventually she takes the secret to her grave but reveals it in journals to her kids, whom she asks to sprinkle her ashes in the same place her lover's were scattered instead of burying her next to her faithful husband of many decades.  What a sweetie.

Awards: 1 Oscar, 2 Golden Globes

Highlight: "Robert, please. You don't understand, no-one does. When a woman makes the choice to marry, to have children; in one way her life begins but in another way it stops. You build a life of details. You become a mother, a wife and you stop and stay steady so that your children can move. And when they leave they take your life of details with them. And then you're expected move again only you don't remember what moves you because no-one has asked in so long. Not even yourself. You never in your life think that love like this can happen to you." - Meryl Streep, to Bradd Pitt, re: infidelity

There's a lot more.

In the Mood For Love (5 Hong Kong Film Awards)

The Notebook (8 Teen Choice "Awards")

Water For Elephants (1 People's Choice Award, Favorite Drama)

Brokeback Mountain (3 Oscars, 4 Golden Globes)

The English Patient

The Seven Year Itch

American Beauty

Titanic

...

-J

Meaning

Right, so a self-contained universe.

Even excusing the (current) inability of science to explain the nature or purpose of consciousness or the cause of the creation of the universe¹ science also cannot give any justification for any action.  If the universe is self-contained and there is no afterlife, no action we take can be said to be positive or negative.  Eventually either the universe will freeze or recontract and either way all life will be extinguished.  The only exemption is if we find a way to escape the corporeal universe.  Even if we become beings of energy in some far flung future, energy exists within the universe and within the laws governing the universe.  We must find a way to exist outside the universe for any action to have any meaning; for anything to be good, bad, valuable, noble, laudable, loving, or lasting.  Far before we wrestled with these quandaries, God proposed a way for us to exist outside of the universe through Jesus Christ.  This fact (the fact that it is claimed) gives Christianity an underpinning for any further moral propositions.  Other religions and spiritualities propose it too, so it isn't an exclusive claim, but it is a position that hard natural science cannot answer.  If we all came from nothing, and we are all returning to nothing, what possible point could there be to taking any action over any alternative given that neither choice will have any significance whatsoever in 10 billion years?  Nihilism is the only possible conclusion of the closed-system universe.

-J 



1 I used to think that perhaps after expanding as much as it could expand², gravity³ took over and caused the universe to contract back into a single point which then re-big-banged into a new universe.  Which is fine, but still falls prey to the old "turtles all the way down" problem.

2 Into what, exactly, is the universe expanding?  If the universe is getting bigger, what exists outside it?

3 Yeah, this doesn't make a lot of sense either.  Why do all particles attract all other particles?  

Reviews Of Movies You've Already Seen presents: Frozen

So Disney's Frozen is a film as fluffy as freshly fallen snow, with roughly the same nutritional content.  It was in various stages of proposal and shelf since the 90's, but was finally thrown together after the tremendous success of Tangled.    Another reviewer keenly pointed out that the one-word titles of these films make them gender neutral so they don't drive off the boys (see Brave) with their female lead characters.

Anna and Elsa are sisters, and Elsa has ice powers summarized as follows:

Anna falls in love with a boy in just one day.  The boy turns out to be a jerk.  The moral of the story is that it takes slightly longer than one day to fall in love with someone, although you don't need to know any more about them.  The extra time by itself is sufficient.

The movie is a musical.  The message to our young people from the songs is as follows:

1.	"Frozen Heart" Ice is icy.  This theme make Frozen Heart one of only two songs in the film with reasonable morals.
2.	"Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" Anna sings this to Elsa who has annexed her sister out of her life.  Sometimes you need to pretend that people don't exist, though, for their own good.  Especially if you were previously close and they really care about you.
3.	"For the First Time in Forever" Anna is keen to get her flirt on.  If you've been repressed or had strict rules, it's important to mentally build up any opportunity to operate outside them as much as possible.  You may not have another chance, so fall in love as fast as possible with little or no outside consultation.
4.	"Love is an Open Door" Anna sings a love duet with a guy she has so much in common with, except he turns out later to be suddenly and plot-forcingly evil.  Singing a duet and doing a robot-dance with someone is plenty to base a marriage decision on.
5.	"Let It Go" Elsa's big number, where she gives the world the finger.  Remember kids, if you are different or ostracized, go create a world of your own far from everyone.  It's for the best.
6.	"Reindeer(s) Are Better Than People" The other song in the film with a reasonable lesson.  Well-argued and no longer than it needs to be to establish its point.
7.	"In Summer" Research is unnecessary.  Dream big.
8.	"For the First Time in Forever (Reprise)" Anna sings this to Elsa to try to talk her back down from the edge.  See, if the world rejects you, you still can't just turn your back on the world.  You're not allowed, because apparently the same things that made you a pariah also cause everyone else to have a bad time.  Incidentally, Elsa originally shuts out Anna on strict orders that Anna is not allowed to know about the ice powers for Anna's own protection.  But nothing awful happens to Anna whatsoever once she learns about Elsa's ice powers, rendering the entire brutal sisterly rejection at the beginning of the film totally needless.

9.	"Fixer Upper"

Amazing.  This song manages the Disney trifecta of treating an existing significant other as a plot obstacle to be overcome, interrupting a time-critical issue with a big musical number, and asserting that all takes to improve someone is the power of love.  It's also pretty catchy.  At the same time it's hard to enjoy because they are dancing around and relentlessly frustrating the main characters from communicating successfully that Anna is about to DIE.

Frozen is short, cute, and has pretty visuals.  The ice powers are very well executed and a lot of fun to watch.  The snowman character is only about half as annoying as the previews suggested, and even if you don't like him he's not in too many of the scenes.  His song is a good time for a bathroom break.  The other tunes are serviceable but about as deep as the first dusting of snow in winter, and the plot isn't any thicker; Mom and Dad die early, per Disney usual, but no one gets married at the end which is sort of novel.  You could find worse ways to spend an hour and a half / $12.  Frozen doesn't have much more to say than "don't be a jerk", which is a position it's hard to nitpick but at the same time one that I really hope isn't super revelatory to any audience.  Overall two and a half out of five snowflakes; Frozen is to film what gum is to food: a placeholder, but with a refreshing burst of ice.

-J

Seattle-style

So this is Seattle, which means that if we win the Super Bowl, it must be in a way where we still don't get to feel good about it.

MY PREDICTION: Halfway through the second quarter a missed assignment lets a Seattle pass-rusher through and Peyton Manning sustains a career-ending injury.  The Seahawks don't play particularly well, but do enough to get the job done, picking off replacement QB Brock Osweiler three times and grinding out a nine point win.  The next day all headlines are about Manning, the conversation is about whether it was a "dirty hit", how Seattle is the most penalized team in the league, how the players all use PEDs, and what a shame it all is.  In the off-season the rules are changed to further protect quarterbacks, and Seattle therefore becomes directly responsible for the game becoming even less of a contact sport.  Super Bowl XLVIII becomes "The game where they took out Manning", and any Seattle fan who boasts about it is therefore bragging about the saddest game for one of the most beloved QBs in all of football.  The city remains just as marginalized in the national consciousness, and every Seattle fan gets an even bigger chip on their shoulder because even though we finally won a championship in something, everyone else has agreed with each other that it didn't really count.

-J