keeps on giving

So on Sunday night we had some questionable nachos that we agreed on, followed by excellent cheesecake, which is notable because I generally do not like cheesecake.  Later, these did not play well together in my insides.  The interesting bit, though, came the next night, where I learned we had not actually agreed on nachos, we had "agreed" on them.  I've been a man long enough to know that that actually means you acquiesced to something you were not really into because it seemed like I wanted it.  If it hadn't come up in conversation I would still be ignorant.  For the record (and this will hold true in nearly all similar situations) my desire was overstated.  If I had taken a moment to think, which I did not, I would have realized that I actually didn't care at all what we had.  I just thought I did, because that's what I default to when I'm being intellectually passive.  It's this weird inversion that's hard to explain.  If I sound opinionated about something meaningless, the truth is probably that it completely doesn't matter but I haven't taken the time to think.
Now I don't imagine this is the first time I have been oblivious to what you wanted.  I can forecast without fear of inaccuracy that it will not be the last.  But I should have been more mentally present with you.  Should have approached casual dinner with the same eye of the pursuer I try to hold at all other times.  Should have gotten the chicken.
At least I realized it, even if it was in retrospect.

- J