In the age of chaos

A friend who I respect tremendously on spiritual matters proposed something to me quite audacious a few months ago, and it's been percolating in my head ever since.  He suggested an interesting interpretation of courtship, one that did not include physical intimacy.  On the surface it sounded ludicrous, but this is someone who I hold in a high enough opinion that I do not treat his ideas casually.  I decided to think about it.
Of course unmarried couples should not sleep together.  This is something pretty much all Christians can agree on.  There's about twenty good reasons I can think of off the top of my head, which means there's a hundred and twenty more that don't even occur to me...  It's something I've wanted to write on, given how my position on premarital celibacy has been so totally altered by the Holy Spirit.  What my friend offered, though, was sort of a thought experiment that traveled down the path further.  So what if a couple actually did save all intimacy for marriage?  What if their wedding kiss was actually their first kiss?
Like I noted, it sounded crazy to me at first.  I have noticed something, though: whenever I see something that is widely accepted and encouraged by American culture, and I imagine what the exact opposite of that thing would be, more often than not what I have imagined can be found somewhere in the Bible.  Obedience to parents, submission to God, devotion to truth even when it appears it is against one's self-interest... these are not things celebrated or given approval by the society surrounding us.  Quite the contrary.  Why then do we accept the current doctrine of courtship?  A Christian marriage is not governed by the same insight or heading in the same direction as an American marriage.  But I've always assumed that it's okay for it to look just like one.  I never thought about it.  Physical intimacy, within the holy covenant of marriage, is both a gift from God and a celebration.  Mentally I narrow the definition of "intimacy" to specifics, but there's no reason why that should be.  Your wife is the one you may touch, and should, and no other.  The one you may kiss, and should.  That is true.
I'm still not really sure how I feel about it.  It's such a powerful idea that I can't put it down for now.  

-J