I'm really struggling with jealousy. When those around me are blessed with opportunity, I am finding it extremely difficult to simply rejoice for or with them fully; some part of me is twisted with covetousness, a greedy imp despising both istelf and the universe which fails to cater to it. I'm glad that God is revealing this in my heart. I know it's good for me, except I can't remember off hand what exactly I'm supposed to do about it. Trust God something something. Being a Christian is not like fixing a computer. I don't even know how to access my 'settings' menu.
There's no reason that reality should fall over itself to make my life easier. As I noted last night, I labor under the burden of Rich-Person Problems*. Oh no, my 12-month pre-paid Xbox LIVE account code which is only useful to me because I posess and Xbox 360, and games for it, and a steady internet connection, and was itself a gift to me from my friend was accidentally entered into the account of my beautiful wife instead of my own, so now I won't get imaginary credit for my imaginary achievements. Which I spend my real time laboring on.
It's a tragedy.
Actually, it is a tragedy, just not in the way it feels like to my impish brain. It is a lot easier to be jealous of other people than to actually DO anything. To sieze what amazing opportunity God has turned over in my life, like a celestial Vanna White flipping tiles in the bonus round. If I were to just focus, I'd realize that R-S-T-L-N-E has gotten me, like, ninety percent of the way there. I just need to choose three consonants and a vowel, and get my brain to work.
-J
* You down with RPP?**
** Yeah, you know me.
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