Wrestling with a lot of stuff spiritually this morning. I don't feel like a good leader. I don't feel like I'd want my daughter to marry someone like me.
I've always struggled with a pretty negative self-image. God has helped me a lot, but there was never a lightswitch-change.
Once upon a time, marriage meant children. If you got married, you pretty much had two options: don't have sex, or be fruitful and multiply. Both variations have been explored over the history of the human being. Reliable contraceptives have only been widely available for a short slice of history, but they are completely taken for granted now. "Marriage" no longer inherently carries the assumption of children; couples can choose for themselves. Pastor Mark preached in Song of Solomon that a married couple should be intimately together about once a day. While it's easy for me to look at that figure and nod contemplatively, when that book of the bible was written I don't think that average would be possible. She'd be in some stage of pregnancy pretty much all of the time.
"for a healthy, fertile couple, the 'per month' success rate is around 15-20%, so it is not at all uncommon for it to take some months to conceive. Overall, around 70% of couples will have conceived by 6 months, 85% by 12 months and 95% will be pregnant after 2 years of trying."
I don't have a thesis or a moral to my musings. It's just some raw truth rolling around in my head. The pattern of human life on the earth has swung wildly in the last hundred and fifty years. 3% of recorded time, as chronicled in scripture.
- J
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