Friday, April 30, 2010

The process

In order:

1) Obedience
2) Faith
3) Wisdom
4) Direction
5) Love
6) Marriage
7) Jeremy with the baby carriage

- J

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

4/27/10

Saturday, April 24th: Engaged to you. =)

- J

Friday, April 23, 2010

4/23/10

I intended to write yesterday, but my too-busyness was actually legitimate. In the morning I did morningy things, then went to work. After work I played with the kids at Jubilee until almost 4:30, then I came back home and did job stuff, essay stuff, and talked to God until it was time for C.G. which ran to eleven again. I can't feel too bad; all that stuff is totally more important than keeping up with some arbitrary hobby consistency.
My theological essays for Deacon training are proving harder than I had expected. By Sunday, I need to have typed a paragraph to a page for each of the following: a) The Gospel b) God the Father c) The Holy Spirit d) Jesus Christ e) Relationship of the Trinity f) Creation. I've realized that beyond a few textbook sentences and an appeal to some scripture I remember, I can't actually define any of these as well as I feel I should be able to after five years.

- J

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Love Letters from the Skeleton Kingdom of the Moon - Part 3

The wind pushed the rain at a steady angle, washing all the East-facing walls in the city. Cable had turned his collar up, and his black fedora kept him as comfortable as someone out in the weather could argue himself to be. The envelope, secured in his trenchcoat's breast pocket, was warm against his heart in a way that it was tempting to find pleasant. Cable's mind was disciplined, though, and he kept himself mentally wary. His attention was constantly divided between his investigation and his sole piece of evidence. It's soft resistance to his movement, its constant heat, his mind evaluated them endlessly for any change. Letters from the dead could not be trusted.
First Cable had talked to all the zombies in the city, but they were no help as usual. He had then moved on to his contacts at the Post Office's secret black market, but again his leads had come up dry. Now he walked through the emotionless streets, going over his scant information and only breaking mental pace to glance at the few pedestrians who passed him on their way to somewhere indoors.
The sound of a guitar hummed across the top of Cable's consciousness. The jangly pluck and strum of strings was distant, but distinct. In the rain it was impossible to tell the direction. The detective ducked under an awning and listened to the unexpected music. It was pleasant, in a strange sort of way. The notes were blurred, but the cadence had an offbeat charm. Cable pulled out a damp, folded magazine from his pocket and held it up in one hand like a waiter's tray.
Cable had once heard of the practice of "Bibliomancy", in which parties interested in the day's events would turn to a random page in the bible for insight. Cable did not believe in the bible, but he did believe in the stars. Therefore, everywhere he went he carried an issue of Entertainment Weekly, and he consulted it on occasions where he required guidance. A gust of wind blew open the tabloid to roughly the center. Cable took the magazine in both hands properly, and looked at the article. It was a music interview.
"How do you feel about where you are in your career," the author's print asked in bold font, "and how things are going? I know you’re out playing bars and small clubs, and it’s a return to where you started. Where are you hoping that leads?"
The country singer being questioned was circumspect. "It’s kinda just coming back around. Making a run through and hopefully coming back out the other side again." Cable nodded, knowingly. Squaring his jaw, he refolded the Weekly and returned it to his pocket. Turning on his heel, he headed back towards the Russle Hotel that disaffectionately housed his office.
The music grew slowly but steadily louder as Cable purposefully strode. The strange, looping rhythm was eerie, halfway predictable but always twisting out from under expectations. The rain beat an endless staccato on the brim of Cable's hat, confusing the melody in the ear.
Rounding the final city block, Cable could see a sitting figure halfway down the street. In the concrete corner next to the stairs which led up to the wood and glass double doors of the hotel there was a man playing his guitar in the rain.

- J

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Bloggity bloggity

Tues day is tues. I meant to record some Huge Book, but things have continued to happen. Tonight perhaps? Still hopeful. I got in touch with Jake Chambers The Landlord, and he's going to give the contractors the go-ahead to replace the sills with wood. That means I'll get new windows! Possibly as soon as not very long from now! I'm excited.
Still need to:
- Do everything
- Fold laundry
My head feels so refreshed and lively now that it's not being held down by all that hair. Oh yeah, that reminds me.
- Clean up hair

- J

Monday, April 19, 2010

4/19/10

My ex-roommate Kai just called me up. Apparently he has the Guatemalan Death Plague, and he wanted to ask me about when we were going to play Megaman 10 together. This is actually pretty standard of the sort of phone call I get from him. I told him we'd schedule it soon.
He's someone I feel a little protective of, just because of his misadjusted social skills. That is, he's perfectly capable of being pleasant, but has no internal function making him able to discern between the times that he is and the times he is not. In addition, his way of letting you know that he is actively engaged and interested in a conversation with you is to never shut up. For this reason, even though his computer skills are pretty high-level, he's had a hard time holding down a job.
He's got a weird ability with cats... even cats that hate everybody love him. He exhibits disdain for the general populace, but it's impossible to tell if he really wants to be liked inside. I suspect so, but there's enough else about him that's completely unpredictable that I wouldn't put money down. His mom found the old house listing on CL, and drove him up to take a look since he didn't own a car at the time. She checked out the house while he sat down on the couch and played Darkstalkers with Nate and me. It's an analogy of his approach to life. Focus on the stuff he finds interesting, to the exclusion of awareness of other concerns. So yeah... I want to be a good influence on him. I'm glad he called.

- J

Friday, April 16, 2010

Because I will not remember later

It are fact. I know, because of my learnings.

Shoot, now I'm out of things to say. Um...
Some construction guys set up a scaffold and climbed up it this morning to peer into my window as I was leaving for work. They had a new window with them and everything. I was so excited. When I came back home, however, my old window was still there. What's the deal? My curtain is down, my bed is pushed away from the wall... does it need to be further? Why this continued neglect? I managed to slide the bed another twelve inches or so, but that's really going to be about as far from the wall at it'll get. They haven't left me a note or anything, so I'm just left to wonder. And fret.
Auto-replies from job applications are understandable, but frustrating. RealNetworks' form-cruncher spat me out today as unqualified for their STE internship. While it's an arguable case, I felt like I had many valid counterpoints as to why my experience and other factors made me a good choice. Also I knew someone who worked there, so they should totally hire me. Alas, algorithms are capable of neither understanding nor insight. There's a hojillion dudes who filled out the boxes for the job, so I do see the necessity of automating the first step. It reminds me of Gattaca, though. If the gatekeepers are computers, some really great - and even more importantly, diverse - people will be automatically screened. There is no code-hook that can identify the human spirit.
Or maybe there is, and it didn't detect it in my cover letter. I hadn't thought of that until just now.

- J

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Almost, but not quite

I forgot, like six times to write a blog post today.
BUT I REMEMBERED SEVEN TIMES.

It was a cool evening. I got coffee with Jake Wade, who is in every way, "legit". An eerie amount, actually. Almost... overly... legit. At that level of legit-ness, I can see it becoming very difficult indeed to cease such a state. I'm jus' sayin.
I'd like to bring dinner to his and his wife's home.
At C.G. it was no-girls-allowed, which was pretty sweet. We went to the park and played a fun nordic stick-throwing game. It was nine o'clock by the time we got back; we talked really openly until after ten, then prayed all the way to eleven.
That's right.
These men go to eleven.

Now it is bed time. Here I go snzz.

- J

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

=)

Ways in which I am blessed:

-My relationship with you
-My beautiful condo
-The wonderful friends God has surrounded me with
-The 20 hours a week I work at Sugee's
-The Jesus-loving church God has planted me in
-Available access to the internet
-Relative lack of poisonous snakes in the area

- J

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Right!

Right!

I'm watching an old episode of You Bet Your Life, the quiz show hosted by Groucho Marx. It's really charming. There's a ton of shows on YouTube! I had no idea. They've got every episode of the original Trek, every season of MacGuyver, and... and that's about it, really. But still!

...

Anyway. Why am I dragging my feet on cooking up this bacon? Srsly. I can be such a procrastinator. =P I need a job, if nothing else, to wipe me out so that my doing-not-particularly-much can at least be legitimate. Blah. My head is all foggy. Actually, it's felt foggy for days now. I just want to put it in the permanent-press cycle and rinse all the fuzz out of my brain. Then I could just crawl into the dryer and go to sleep.

Alright. Time to fire up the griddle.

- J

Monday, April 12, 2010

milestones

I've missed a couple days, and double-posted a couple days, but today is mostly my hundredth entry. Cool.

- J

Ends and means

Both God and the world are concerned primarily with the fruit in a person's life. The world tells you to get some money, find transportation, and go to a supermarket. Jesus gives you a seed.

- J

Friday, April 9, 2010

Test test

One of the features of Opera's new update was apparently disabling my blog's 'update' button. I have switched to Chrome. So far: dissatisfied.
Why do I let myself be riled up by such insignificant irritations?

- J

... (part 2)

I didn't write anything here yesterday.

Part of my frustration is actually from my web browser. It kept nagging me about updating, and now that I finally did it, it is completely broken. I feel pretty good this morning in general, but that still makes me completely crazy. Grrrr. Rolling back updates is extremely obnoxious. I may have to reinstall the browser completely. Honestly, I should just switch to Chrome. The only reason I haven't is because I don't like the way the logo looks. That's not a super-good reason, probably.

There's about a hojillion people in the world who would love to have my tiny little problems.

- J

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

el back-o hurt-o

Si, habla espagnole. Es muy impressada con me perfecto grammera. Avec qui so non grata del practico, soy... um... lutkefisk majora... del... mar. Ole.
It is time for me to go to your apartment. Which is one of the better times, were I to rank all times in a compiled fashion. But not as good as the time when I am actually at your apartment. I am tired and my back hurts (see spanish above) and my brain is exhausted. But my kitchen is clean and my honey is reliquefied(!) and I am about to finish this sentence, whereupon I will fly to you and my spirit will be nourished...
God ministers to me through you.

- J

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

From Lucky Strike

KARA FLYNN: Your girlfriend is sooooo cute!
ME: I know!  The cutest of all girls.  Except for that one [oblig. gesture towards baby Audrey].
CHRISTOPHER: And this one [oblig. gesture towards Jamie].
ME: Right.  So the third cutest of all girls.
KARA FLYNN: I really want to meet her.
ME: She's on the communications team.
KARA FLYNN: ... You're dating Erin McComb?
ME: Yup.
KARA FLYNN: Oh wow, I had never put the two of you together. ... do you think you're going to marry her?
ME: Yup.
KARA FLYNN: ... Does she know that?
ME: Mm-hmm.

- J

Monday, April 5, 2010

Advocacy

[1Jn 2:1] "My little children, these things write I unto you that ye may not sin. And if any man sin, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:"

When I started to pursue you, I can remember wishing that we had friends in common who would argue my case for me.  You didn't have any reason to listen to me, because I had no history with you to brace myself against.  But if there had been a person who knew us both, they might have spoken to you on my behalf.  The could have told you how I loved Jesus and was an honest and caring person.  Not having such a person, I had to pursue you in a way that made me feel very exposed and vulnerable.  If I messed up, there was no cause for you to pardon.  
In my job search, I have felt the same way.  If only I had a friend who was hiring!  If only my colleagues at the church could put me together with their contacts!  Because in an interview, it's the same thing - I am making a case with no history to confirm my evidence, no context to excuse misstatements.  The word "advocate" came to me today, after reading the email I received this morning from Jake Wade.  He wrote warmly and briefly about how he would push for my employment.  It was such a feeling of encouragement and thanks.
John says that Jesus is our advocate to the Father.  Jesus, who knows us intimately, and knows God the Father, is arguing on our behalf.  We come to the Father with sin-stained lives and unrighteous deeds and thoughts, and Jesus says "Father, he's with me.  I vouch for him."  He's our advocate.  I get it now.  It's beautiful.

- J 

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Early to rise

Up up up.  I need breakfast.

*1 breakfast later*

Oh, that's better.
Jason Marta asked me if I felt the same way about you now that I did in the beginning.  I told him no and yes.  I don't feel the losing-sleep twitchy-brain obsessiveness that I did at first.  I think that comes from the first steps of interacting with an idea that is much larger than you can think about all at once.  So you have to think about it in little pieces at a time, but the looming shape of it arrests the attention.  So no, I don't feel like that still.  Which is good, because I'm a fan of sleep.  Getting it.  As opposed to not.  But I do still feel the same way about you.  I like you more... I haven't been disillusioned.  I don't think I was ever illusioned in the first place, to be subsequently dis.  I still want to hang out with you all the time.  I still want to protect you and serve you and occasionally do something magic for you.  None of that's changed.
Jason has been married for ten years.  Colleen is super cool, and a strong Christian.  They're both really honest people about their faith.  Jason doesn't enjoy reading the bible, and they've got their rough patches.  Colleen can't have children, for medical reasons.  They've had recently... not a 'slump'... just a period where emotions were tougher, I guess.  I've felt that before.  But they've gotten through it.  They love each other.  Jason was telling me how he still wants to have new experiences with her, and learn stuff about her.  He's reading books to try to understand her better.  It's cool.
Hey.  I get to see you tonight.  And that is awesome.

- J